Feeling anxious

6 04 2008

You know that feeling you get of anxiety or excitment in your stomach?  I have been wearing that feeling around for days.  I don’t really know what is causing it…Well maybe I do.

Either way its weird. I mean I have never felt this way for this long before. Its like something big is going to happen and I know it, but I don’t. Sometimes the feeling gets overwhelming and it catches my breath. WTF?

However, its a pretty cool feeling.  So I will happily wear it for now.


My husband is trying to kill me

5 04 2008

I truely swear to god that he is…Not in the physical sense of course, but the emotional one for sure.  He can’t handle our kids without freaking out and then of course its my fault.  He is lazy and it drives me nuts.  I am on the go all the time. I like seeing things and going places.  He likes watching tv and staying home.

So how would you say that it has come to be that we are still married?  I think at this point we are floating on luck. People say you have to work on a marriage to make it work…But whatever if the things that need to be worked on are just part of who the person is and no something they are doing?

I really wish that I had answers.  And this I am sure is not the day to try and find them as I am clearly not rational.

I think.

Little old me

2 04 2008

It has come to my attention inthe last few weeks that there is no pictures of me anywere that were not taken by me.  Should I be concerned that there is no one in my life that wants to take my picture?  I am always the picture taker…I take pictures of my family and friends, but the only ones of me are the ones I have taken of myself on my cell phone for specific reasons. 

No pictures of me at the holidays or anything….


Life is kicking my ass…

9 02 2008

Oh yes it is…One foot after another.  I tell you now I don’t know how much more of the shit I can take. 

On a lighter note…LMAO…Went to see 27 dresses again last night. By god it is a good movie. Especially if you are me and you do enjoy a romantic comedy! I do love my sap.  But I would have to say that comedy trumps even a good romantic movie for me, like say Juno…That was a damn fine tribute to sarcasm! Love it!

On the home front, you guessed it, hubby still works ALL THE TIME!  Getting a sitter is now non existent as my sister has finally turned me down to many times for me to even asked her anymore.  There goes my Valentines date.  Of course when it rains in pours, right?

So I sit here soaked in emotional crap and all I can think is…The sun will come out, tomorrow, tomorrow!  Man I need to laugh!


2 02 2008

Oh how I hate the feeling of being trapped in my own life. 

Do I have anything to complain about seriously? No.  Its just recently been found to be in my freaking nature to bitch for no god damn apparent reason.  I know this does not sound right, but I am who I am.  Honest if not anything.

I really have no purpose.  Yes I am a mom.  Yes I am a wife.  But for hells sake what about Rachel? I swear to god most days she is just suffocating.  She gets to come out every now and then, but oh so not enough.

I want to be taken care of,  not always the one doing the taking care of.  I want to feel loved and sexy way more than I do.  I want to fell like I have something to do and somewhere to go.  Oh how I hate doing nothing.  The days pass like they never even happen, where does it go?  I swear only the cat understands.

God bless Oscar the cat and his ability to just sit next to me and purr.  It helps me to breath and be calm.